The U.S. Census Bureau’s data revealed this week that Florida is being inundated with New Yorkers.
I’m not sure why this qualifies as news.
In a one-year period ending in July, the Census reported that 63,722 New Yorkers moved to Florida. More New York refugees ended up here than any other state.
I’m not surprised. If you told me 63,722 New Yorkers moved to Boca Raton last year, I would believe it.
I’m not complaining. I like New Yorkers. I used to be one of them. We’re noted for our gracious, shy, and gentle mannerisms — at least during those times when we’re not suggesting that you take a (insert name of bulky household appliance) and shove it up your (insert name of body orifice.)
And we adapt well to our new surroundings by always reminding the locals that if they were smarter, they’d do things our way.
In short, we’re a pleasure to be around.
But for some, I expect, the Census numbers may been seen as evidence of a New Yorker border crisis, and that it would be best if we separated parents in Florida from their adult children in Long Island.
It’s not that we’re cruel and inhumane. It’s just that we may not be equipped to handle this influx.
Do we have enough restaurant reservation slots or New York Jets jerseys at Dick’s Sporting Goods? Should we build a wall and start metering New Yorkers by evaluating their Florida asylum claims?
“You say you’re coming to Florida for family unification? That your Aunt Cookie is already here? Well, that sounds a lot like ‘chain migration.’ And what exactly are your skills, other than evaluating the flaws on a non-New-York pizza, and wearing makeup and jewelry on the beach?”
In a way, it’s amazing that people still want to come here, considering the inexhaustible supply of Floridians who are doing their very best to make the state appear to be a giant outdoor crime-based reality show.
Here’s an actual news headline from Florida this year: “Florida man in dog costume arrested for sex with dog.” I guess he thought the costume would get the dog in the mood.
People all over the country are taking the “Florida Man Challenge”, which involves typing the words “Florida Man” and your birthday into a Google search, which then spits out a real-life Florida misdeed that happened on your birthday.
My Florida Man birthday story has the headline: “Armless Florida man charged after allegedly using feet to stab tourist.”
Theoretically, people from out of state read stories like these and still move to Florida. Talk about desperate refugees.
And many of those people are from New York. Why?
U.S. Sen. Rick Scott, a white-collar grifter who migrated here from Texas, says it’s because of high taxes in New York.
“There’s a reason Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s mom left New York for Florida,” Scott wrote in a Wall Street Journal op-ed in March. “And there’s a reason companies are fleeing high-tax states, bringing jobs with them to Florida, Tennessee and Texas.”
That might be true for some people. But it doesn’t fully explain what’s going on. After all, if low-tax Texas is so wonderful, why didn’t Scott just stay there?
And it turns out a lot of New Yorkers who don’t go to Florida end up in California, which is another high-tax state.
A more authoritative source may be the University of Florida’s Bureau of Economic and Business Research, which did phone surveys with 6,000 Floridians, asking transplants why they moved here.
That survey found that the most popular reason why New Yorkers moved here was to be closer to family members who were already here. So, there may be no way to break this cycle of chain migration. So here’s my advice.
Read more at The Palm Beach Post